sometimes its nice to make a wish for people out there, so here is a wish for you who is reading this:

I don't know how 2017 has been for you.

No matter good or bad,
I wish you can leave all that and look forward.
You might not believe in new beginnings
 (some people say a new year is just a concept and that there really is no such thing as "starting anew")
but then again,
I wish the best for you this year.
I wish you have so many indescribable moments that make u smile in many years to come
I wish you meet friends that you don't have to be careful about what you say when you are around them.

I wish you get all the (ups/good things) in life
but most importantly,
I wish there are people with you when you fall down.
People to laugh with you and people  who give you hope and courage

I wish your dangerous & outrageous dreams turn into beautiful realities
I wish people will fight for you & you will fight for the things you love.
Love others but don’t forget to love yourself

I want the best for you.
And I hope you want the best for you too.

Happy New Year. 2018 is the beginning of everything you want.
Surprise yourself.

NEW TRAVEL VLOG POSTED
Hello friends, thanks for visiting my blog once again 

I have decided on making travel vlogs however i have only decided to share it with 50 people (for privacy reasons as of now)
Disclaimer: The links i give you all will solely be for your eyes only
So do insta DM me your emails if you really do wanna support my little vlogging hobby.
Thank you!!
Insta: @nciloe

In primary, I had at least 20 close friends 
(Remember those old biodata notebooks we used to collect? Look in my friends list in your old notebooks, scribbled in colour and glitter pens would be the names of people who meant the most to me ) 

Actually I could list my whole Std 6 class as my close friends because why wouldn't they be?

We sat out during punishments together at the back of the class (half the class were punished)

We played weird silly games like chase  (till we got a warning from the discipline teachers to stop running around in the corridors) 

We stayed in during recess in class, sneaking in food we got from the canteen (although the prefects would yell at us to get out)

We have seen the worst in everyone (the time when puberty still hadn't done its magic) 

We had each other's backs (like the time when we knew there was a spotcheck and everyone was frantically looking for places to hide all our belongings together) 

We were never jealous of one another (although there were the lucky kids who got the newest gadgets, the best lunch boxes & the least amount of tuition in a week) 

We simply cared and loved every person there was (although at times they could have come back from the holidays with a haircut that was WAY too short) 

In high school, I had at least 30 close friends 
In my other high school
there were 10 close friends

In Germany, I had  5 close friends
The ones who stood by me regardless
The ones who understood me 
The ones who accepted me 
The ones who loved me 
The ones who showed me there was more to who I thought I was 

In college, I had less than 5 close friends 

No best friend you ask? Cuz i know people fight to be titled "best friend "
Maybe I never had one (Because everyone is equal 
Maybe its overrated (people should not feel obligated to live up to that expectation) 

But really, 
Do best friends mean....
Someone you spend 24 hours with? whoa what happened to personal space 

Someone who you extra look out for? why would you not look out for someone?

Someone who you super care about although they are not always beside you? but this doesn't apply when they don't want to tell you anything? 

Someone who is the first to listen to your problems? Teach me how to differentiate between someone who just wants to know and someone who really cares 

Someone who you spent endless nights wishing shit didn't happen to them like how it did?  I think they wished I didn't interfere  

Someone who you feel supports you no matter what you do? did you just acknowledge my presence because i make you feel good about yourself 

Maybe I was jealous of people who could say "best friend with xx for xx years and more to come" (not anymore) 

Maybe this whole thing is really overrated 
Maybe throughout these years, I have seen too much heard too much 
Maybe I thought of all this too much 
But hey, you know what? 

I no longer see you as a friend, Friend.

Here's to a person I know who felt like all everyone did was take it all (but they never gave anything back) 


Here's to you who beats yourself up over and over again. (Even though it wasn't your fault he was an asshole.)

If I knew this day would come I would have started praying months ago for someone better to come along and sweep you off your feet (but I didn't see this coming) 

I think what we all fear is change (I used to think change was for the better) 

People change (at least he did) 

You’re a lot stronger than I knew you to be. You surprised me and you continue to everyday. 

You come to us every time with those poofy post-cry eyes and rosy sobering-up cheeks (If I could applaud you for your endless courage I would with all my might) 

Everyday from here on out, is a process of you picking up the broken pieces he stepped on to turn it into a masterpiece he failed to appreciate in the first place. Every decision you make will glue it all back together. You, will get it together.

People who care about you won’t keep you from moving forward(they’ll be the wind blowing you in the right direction)

 I pray you discover that love and happiness are still out there; and that there are people who offer it, no conditions, expirations, or limits.It’s out there. A genuine life is waiting for you out there. And now, it’s your time to go find it. 

Your heart is valuable ( Don't think you let anyone down because you didn't)

"A heart can only be broken if it has been loved" -Ed sheeran.