Define: best friend
cuz i did
(Remember those old biodata notebooks we used to collect? Look in my friends list in your old notebooks, scribbled in colour and glitter pens would be the names of people who meant the most to me )
Actually I could list my whole Std 6 class as my close friends because why wouldn't they be?
We sat out during punishments together at the back of the class (half the class were punished)
We played weird silly games like chase (till we got a warning from the discipline teachers to stop running around in the corridors)
We stayed in during recess in class, sneaking in food we got from the canteen (although the prefects would yell at us to get out)
We have seen the worst in everyone (the time when puberty still hadn't done its magic)
We had each other's backs (like the time when we knew there was a spotcheck and everyone was frantically looking for places to hide all our belongings together)
We were never jealous of one another (although there were the lucky kids who got the newest gadgets, the best lunch boxes & the least amount of tuition in a week)
We simply cared and loved every person there was (although at times they could have come back from the holidays with a haircut that was WAY too short)
In high school, I had at least 30 close friends
In my other high school
there were 10 close friends
In Germany, I had 5 close friends
The ones who stood by me regardless
The ones who understood me
The ones who accepted me
The ones who loved me
The ones who showed me there was more to who I thought I was
In college, I had less than 5 close friends
No best friend you ask? Cuz i know people fight to be titled "best friend "
Maybe I never had one (Because everyone is equal
Maybe its overrated (people should not feel obligated to live up to that expectation)
But really,
Do best friends mean....
Someone you spend 24 hours with? whoa what happened to personal space
Someone who you extra look out for? why would you not look out for someone?
Someone who you super care about although they are not always beside you? but this doesn't apply when they don't want to tell you anything?
Someone who is the first to listen to your problems? Teach me how to differentiate between someone who just wants to know and someone who really cares
Someone who you spent endless nights wishing shit didn't happen to them like how it did? I think they wished I didn't interfere
Someone who you feel supports you no matter what you do? did you just acknowledge my presence because i make you feel good about yourself
Maybe I was jealous of people who could say "best friend with xx for xx years and more to come" (not anymore)
Maybe this whole thing is really overrated
Maybe throughout these years, I have seen too much heard too much
Maybe I thought of all this too much
But hey, you know what?
I no longer see you as a friend, Friend.
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