(Flicker- Niall Horan)
I watched today
my very first autopsy

what disturbed me
wasn't the smell of his blood as they opened up his body

what disturbed me
wasn't the part where they peeled open his scalp

what disturbed me
wasn't the way blood was dripping out from his ears
as they turned him over

but what really disturbed me
was whether he lived his life the way he wanted

was someone waiting for him to come back home
just to receive a call that he was no longer alive

was he in fear, in pain and all alone
what would he have wanted his family to know before he left

was there anything he wished he could change
was there anyone he wanted to apologise to
for hurting them
intentionally or unintentionally

was he afraid?
because i would be

then again why live so carefully?
why do we change ourselves just to fit in

why do we hold back
why are we afraid to do the things we love
when some don't even have a chance to love anymore

so live & love
as much as you want to
because  life is so fragile
so short
& so unpredictable

There is no glory
when you are in the hospital at 7 am
when most of the people have yet to start their day

There is no glory
when all you can smell is sweat in the overcrowded wards
and all you want is an ice cold shower at the end of the day

There is no glory
when you walk around the hospitals at midnight
when most of the people are back home asleep

There is no glory
when they question your judgement
and blame you for the things you do

but the feeling you get
when you tell them they are okay
when you tell them they can go home on that day
when you allow them to live
to see another day

there is no fame and glory
in the daily things we do

but we do it anyway

i love medicine & everything it has to offer
and that is all i need